Unsolicited Advice

Unsolicited advice is very dangerous! It is like antibiotics course done for 30% of the duration! It doesn’t cure the disease and worse part it gets used to this antibiotic and the same one doesn’t work the next time! You have at least different antibiotics but with advice – a Raam-Baan advice if given prematurely or when not asked – when the receiver doesn’t have their antenna tuned --- is more dangerous! It is taken half-heartedly at best and at worst there is disdain to the advice and niyyat of the person itself is questioned. “Master will appear when disciple is ready” and advice should appear ONLY if there is enquiry!  The biggest issue is when the same receiver is ready to receive it – the same advice is received with “Issake kyaa hoga??” This hasn’t worked earlier! So how much hard you try to convince 99% this same great advice does not work this time also! It is never accepted subconsciously as new/good advice. So it is almost a sin to give unsolicited advice.

My own example – one for giving and one for getting such advice!

(1)    Giving an unsolicited advice:

A few years back before 2005/2006 – before FB and Orkut etc I did consulting on Maayboli.com forum and also my social circle. I was a REAL expert in predicting a few things and one VERY patented thing was “marriage” and “kids”. Kids especially! Miscarriages probability and miscarriage timings and how to maneuver around bad timing that could see miscarriages and which is the best of the best time to avoid pregnancy issues etc. This assuming the doctors are saying the couple is “good to go”! :) I mean, they don’t have any medial issues etc. So, I see this couple struggling with “an issue” and waiting for 4-5 years etc and quite frustrated. Astrology believe in the family was “less than zero”. I knew their charts as I used to collect just as case study and so on. I ended up talking to the guy about the best time for them for conception. Also told him that every time there is the best conception time – he is taking up some assignment onsite or other places or relocation and promotion etc and career etc. Gave him 2-3 instances. 5^th house is kids and 5^th house 9^th house is also about designations and responsibility. So, it comes together. The guy was upset and almost angry for me to suggest choosing career over family etc. He of course didn’t believe anyways and hence that was that! After 2 years, when my Astro skill became better known – his relatives and friends etc suggested him to talk to me. This time again my advice was same – obviously! I realized that the advice & analysis is going to be a waste!

Solution?? à Astrology gives you chance to look to look at ANY aspect of your life. So, I thought I need to earn some respect and then give the same advice. I asked him if so and so of his relatives had FLAT FEET & some other relatives having short lived kids (his cousins). Thankfully, the answer was YES and with that there was that surprise element and respect – I used that to give him analysis of his past birth deficiencies with some relatives and kids – and how KAARMIC action could be done to get past that etc etc. It was a HERCULEAN effort to get him to believe in the remedial actions (not one-time pooja etc – combination of mantra/upasana and kaarmic good deeds etc.) Also told him the next window being so and so ---- and again how he would get a good job offer! :) BUT finally – “Ganget Ghoda nhala!!”

It was a BIG LESSON to me not to give unsolicited advice. It is a self-goal or rather not a self-goal but it is a goal against the person you want to help too!

(2)    Receiving an unsolicited advice

In short: Was given an advice to NOT practice astrology! (This was a person who doesn’t now astrology and has never read any book on it.)

When it comes to politics, crickets, music movies I am usually passionate and aggressive and whatever in the debates – lets use her word playful and all-out! :) But somehow when it comes to astrology, I become accommodating, selfless & broad etc (unless someone like Hon. Jayant Naralikar makes some utter simplistic and bullsxxx statements). So, astrology wise – any topic, any advice and any opinion I am perfectly fine with – to each his own! Sometime I do tell them about statistical analysis or case studies or probabilities and not exact science etc etc but most of the times folks are not in the zone to listen to. So this advice to stop practicing astrology out of nowhere --- was surprising but also like –“Dude”!! ?? I was like – would you start learning astrology? He said “of course no” – then I said someone should -- :)  If you want me to stop – you should start! :) but anyways I asked why such extreme advice – so the answer was like “why play around with someone’s life, why meddle into destiny of folks – etc etc”  -- So my suggestion was to the person to let go of the medicine field too! :) :) This letting go of medicines and thought of leaving a well settled practice did it! :)

So let us avoid –“Yeh to tune pehel bho kaha thaa – isse kuchh nahi hotaa” dialogues and avoid unsolicited advice. If you must – do an inception – by sending some neutral whats app fwds! :) Who giving advice is not imp – who gets it is more imp!

It happens with me a lot of times as I see things about people and patterns about some behavior – but the art is to know when NOT to speak, I guess!

Regards,

~Milind